love

I had to change to grow… The life I knew wasn’t sustainable… I couldn’t justify or rationalize it anymore… My goal isn’t perfection, my aim isn’t glory… I’m one of billions…. A world beyond comprehension… And sometimes I forget… The gift of life… A day…an hour…a minute…a second… We never truly know its worth until…

Read More

love in everything

forgiveness showed up at my door… when I was able to thank you for… everything you did and didn’t do… for if you could only see what the adversity turned into… I could never imagine being at peace with the past like this… no longer focused on what I couldn’t have or what I missed……

Read More

everything you have ever known

Intimately tied and wrapped up in my old ways of living… Never fully understood the trouble and harm it was ultimately giving… Made a choice to bravely embrace a permanent, lasting change. My own life in dire need of being newly arranged. Because what was familiar and “safe” in my mind… Became self destructive and…

Read More

forgiven

I used to run away sometimes…. Only safe in the places of my mind…. When love was a simple transaction…. The coldest cuts break you into a thousand fractions… I learned a lot from him and I don’t take the lessons for granted… Some will throw themselves in front of the oncoming train for you…and…

Read More

within me

I’m still grieving the loss of the life I used to live… I’m still mourning the loss of the family we once had… But the pain flows from my heart hitting the harshness of reality…. The family we had was broken to begin with…long before it all fell apart… What hurt me the most was…

Read More

now

My tears are colored with anger, pain, grief, sorrow, despair, relief, hope, love… Everything in between… I loved you. I hated you. I feared you…. But now… When I think of you I don’t imagine this invincible man who had all the power in the world…. I see a scared, broken boy….who never healed the…

Read More

rest

it bothers me that I could love someone that hurt me…. as if there’s something wrong with me…. but I never knew it was pain… when it was mixed with toxic love…. I feel guilty for caring for you… ashamed as you throw me away… I feel even worse that I saw for a time…

Read More

i’m better

let the past be the past… nothing, even the darkness, ever infinitely lasts… if all we have is now… you have to focus on what thoughts your heart will allow… and I once dedicated my life and time to the pain… but reliving all these memories is always in vain…. I’m proud of the journey…

Read More

everything

I couldn’t let you go…. Not for the longest time… You were always there… In the shadows and in my past… I loved a part of you… I hated the other…. In your eyes I saw someone I loved…. And someone I feared more than anything… For a time I believed in a lie… A…

Read More

bittersweet

panic settles a little too easily under my skin… and even then I don’t want the nightmares to win… sleep a little…until dreams spill into reality…. the best things in life… they truly are for free… and all I ever wanted was this…. bittersweet remedies…

Read More