Without

I don’t know how to give or receive love without a condition…faint echoes of my parents’ rules. A person is stripped of all meaning, in the end to become a crafted, specialized tool. How do I get over being used like this? How can I remember all the cruelty & still find something in you…

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Shattered

It’s hard to put into words what I once felt… A fragile shattering of my heart, mind, soul. I sit with the pain, emptiness, loneliness, for a moment. I don’t think I can ever forget what it was like, living in a dark dream. I walked away with my life. But it would years to…

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Hero

I wished for a long time to be saved…. Saved from my broken home, from my endless pain, from my empty life. It’s a difficult truth to accept but all this time wishing, hoping, holding onto false illusions, I failed in a major way. A way I now see with incredible clarity. I failed to…

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Reclaim

My heart tells me, it’s not safe to feel. Thoughts running through my mind now and then, catching feelings too conflicting to be surreal. Deep below the surface you left with me a dangerous fear of all men. Lose my breath & count to ten.. Let me try this again. I used to believe it…

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Wings

Subtle shifts in your twisted carved eyes, a piercing blackness takes the night. One moment you’re human & the next…a monster without a conscious, triggered by an imagined slight. Your words are just words, but they bleed poison into my  trembling skin. I fight for my life & I’m losing as the helplessness once more…

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For the Ride

There’s certain places in my mind…I can’t bare to relive. There’s parts of myself I don’t know how to let go of or forgive. I look in the mirror & sometimes I just look the other way. Happiness always wants to come & go, I can’t force it to stay. But there’s a strength in…

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Good Enough…for you.

I’m holding back tears…wondering why I could never be good enough for you. It hurts me to know I wasn’t worth fighting for, loving, leaving me in every thing you do. I try to move on knowing you don’t care, even growing up it was like you never were truly there. I fell a thousand…

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Won

I loved you…but it came with self sabotage & emotional neglect. I didn’t understand the warning labels, loss of identity, depression, stolen confidence, a few of the lingering side effects. Forgiveness is the only cure for the pain & it’s time I let go of what is long gone. After I left home, I learned…

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})({ Set Free

You taught me love will never be free… You taught me how to hate the most beautiful parts of me… You taught me love always comes with a price to pay… You taught me how to give up all I am so you could have your way… And I have to unlearn those lessons &…

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Define

Feels like….day one you had my life perfectly aligned to your own plan. You were all powerful & practical, still no one can play pawns the way you can. Fight to love, falling in love with a fight. Hurt me once, imprison me twice, but something in your eyes doesn’t sit with me quite right.…

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