My heart tells me, it’s not safe to feel. Thoughts running through my mind now and then, catching feelings too conflicting to be surreal. Deep below the surface you left with me a dangerous fear of all men. Lose my breath & count to ten..
Let me try this again.
I used to believe it wasn’t safe to feel… then I learned my darkest shadows were nothing real. Cruel & criminal but unable to kill.
You were never truly safe to be around, keeping the ones you “love” locked within an invisible cage. The bars along our home fell apart with distance, awareness, & growing age.
It may take a lifetime but I’ll learn how to abandon what is lost & focus on all that I’ve gained. Old patterns & self defeating beliefs are impossible to hold onto, love was never meant to be purchased or contained.
My strength & kindness are all that remains of these dusted, broken chains. I don’t have to fight you, defend myself, or feel compelled to explain.
Return to the place I lost myself to discover love has no end. When you fall in love with who you are, there’s no one to prove your worth to or contend.
I spent a long time on the outside looking in, taught to fear love rather than embrace its power. Now there is not one day I take for granted, I count my blessings for every hour.
Trauma & abuse touch our lives & we are never the same. I’m finally brave enough to know that my life is just my own: to take back, to cherish, & to fully reclaim.