It’s hard to put into words what I once felt…
A fragile shattering of my heart, mind, soul. I sit with the pain, emptiness, loneliness, for a moment. I don’t think I can ever forget what it was like, living in a dark dream.
I walked away with my life. But it would years to finally feel free. Its taken a long time…
I see the beauty, the bravery, the kindness in me. Imperfect, but one of a kind.
A difficult reality is knowing the cruelness, coldness, emptiness I’ve received throughout my life. From ones who use love as a weapon, to control, intimidate, manipulate, harm. The sharp contrast of this with all the love, compassion, humility, selfless kindness I’ve been shown.
I understand now…the difference between loving someone and pretending to love someone.
Real love carries a sincere intention, where you feel safe, seen, celebrated, welcomed. When someone pretends to love you, everything is a secret transaction, superficial, empty, heartlessly cold.
I’ll never forget the dark times. For they give the times I have of real love breathtakingly beautiful & memorable.
I’m thankful for my life. For love. For it all.