You’ll never know how I fought for my life night after night…. The visions of the monster I saw in you will stay with me for a long time. There’s very little in this life we can control…so much slips through our own hands. Infinite questions in the universe & there’s reasons I’ll never fully…
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A child needs to feel heard & loved…it’s a natural born tendency. In a home of dysfunction that child learns coping mechanisms of harmful dependency. Two parents always there physically, checked out emotionally & mentally. They always meant well…but they made all of us keep a secret we could never tell. I love you & I…
Read MoreFamily
I’m sitting across an empty table staring at the memories…& one by one they softly leave. I guess grief is a process and I’ll slowly find healing through moments of relief. I had this fantasy in my mind, it just wasn’t ever real. In your eyes I saw the truth & you never could give…
Read MorePsychology
I overreact every single time, a chemical instinct sparked by fear. In my mind I fabricate an underlying intention & my confidence disappears. Blame found in fantasy & reality, how do I begin to separate? No matter how I try, lashing out like a hurt child is the response my heart involuntarily reciprocates. Don’t tell…
Read MoreWhat You Never Had
Wanting to be needed…like a forbidden rush of drugs to a lifelong addict. It’s never enough, but the endless cycle carries the confessions of a devoted fanatic. I wanted you to want me, but my heart needed to be free. I became everything you wanted & killed the voice inside of me. There’s a difference…
Read MoreWhat I Love
I don’t know how to follow a heart I gave up on…my mind & motivations seem a world away and too far gone. His words are poison to my brain, infecting every thought with self doubt. I look in the mirror & I don’t even know what I’m all about. Turn up the music, drown…
Read MoreWhite & Pink
Laying in emotionless hearts, encased in white & pink glass walls. Candy rings & sugar spun strings. Fragile tears dyed in water colored memories, tell me again the price of being free. A palace of gold hidden away from the light. Only you know the monsters that come out at night. Your voice is memorizing,…
Read MoreWalk Away
Desire falling from the dying fire in your eyes…golden embers detained delicately to smothering silence & rage. Your fingertips trace carelessly along blackened butterfly walls, a look of disbelief along the lines & curves of your face. You never thought I could….leave. Hearts break under the weight of simple, dangerous choices. We both met destiny…
Read MoreBreaking Through
I ran away to hide, to escape the eternal pain & grief I held inside. I never knew my healing was in the acceptance of everything lost to me. My life now meeting the place between free will & beautifully designed destiny. I can finally sleep at night without fearing you will be there. I’m…
Read MoreGardens
Fears has powerful roots along the lifeline of my heart, straight to the fading echoes of the past. Those walls are encased in memorials of emptiness & rage, built upon a failing foundation of false narratives. But I want to build a garden of everything you taught me to run away from. Compassion. Humility. Kindness.…
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