Dark storm clouds in rose twilight skies, mapping silver lined edges of a trauma created world. Before you see me, I’ve already memorized his eyes in place of yours, tragically distant & reflecting a familiar, conditioned cold. I can’t trust anything or anyone without falling into a place drawn masterfully by wordless terror. My mind keeps running internal defective scripts, but my heart can’t seem to resolve the fatal systematic error.
To love myself…is no easy path & my self defenses have a cure for my emotions. Years & years of denying the truth, my scared & shattered self is beneath infinite waves of unseen, protected oceans.
You can tell me it’s safe to finally be free. But you don’t know the secrets & pain subconsciously washing through every one of my memories.
Let go… let go…
My feelings push & pull on overgrown cornerstone walls to fearlessly overflow.
How do I learn not to see a villain in everyone I meet?
How do I look within to feel in every way complete?
My inner child holds fast to a make believe story of safety, as my adult self drives in destructive tendencies. I have to unite them both in harmony to find a way towards peace. To my trembling soul I whisper, please, it’s time for you to heal yourself, piece by piece.