Fears has powerful roots along the lifeline of my heart, straight to the fading echoes of the past. Those walls are encased in memorials of emptiness & rage, built upon a failing foundation of false narratives. But I want to build a garden of everything you taught me to run away from.
Compassion. Humility. Kindness. Patience. Forgiveness. Vulnerability. Courage. Honesty. Empathy. Connection. Authenticity.
What it means to be human.
You taught me to fear myself…to lay in a place of eternal shame & guilt. For a long time the pain was a prison in my mind.
Emotions you can’t stand to feel.
Only love can heal.
Only love can free us.
Some raise up their arms, for violent & cruel purposes.
Others lay down their heads in defeat.
And few stand up for what they know in their heart to be right.
I grew up memorizing your ideals, conditioned & blinded by your commanding nature. The hardest part of being free is fully accepting the years & harm behind you, when you were not free. Not free to think, believe, act, dream, or be as you wanted.
I cannot change the past. But I no longer have to be paralyzed in a memory.
I want to grow gardens of peace. I want to give my time & love & attention to caring for myself. Loving myself. Being true to myself. Accepting myself. Forgiving myself.
To end the war you must be the first to lay down your arms. To silence an ego that tells you the only way to win is by brutally, fear, threats, violence, & harm.
Sometimes you have to choose to lower your guard and reach out your hand in peace, not a fight.
I don’t want to fight anymore.
My place is in peace.
My hope is for a different world.
My love is for life.
The beauty & precious life so often lost to jealousy, resentment, bitterness, revenge, vengeance, & pain.
I want gardens of peace.
Spaces that thrive on love, not fear.
The only enemy we need to reconcile is the one within.