A child needs to feel heard & loved…it’s a natural born tendency.

In a home of dysfunction that child learns coping mechanisms of harmful dependency.

Two parents always there physically, checked out emotionally & mentally. They always meant well…but they made all of us keep a secret we could never tell.

I love you & I hate what you’ve done to the terrified child still within me. How can I continue to blame you when you couldn’t see outside of your own flaws & there was so many issues you couldn’t bring yourself to fully see. No longer seeing you as a super hero, leaves a painful human expectancy.

Growing up love was twisted & distorted in your practical lessons. What you did & didn’t do to me, leaves me with lifelong, conflicted impressions.

Love can be fragile enough to break….but the heart knows once love becomes fake.

And I’ve given you all I could & you just couldn’t help but take.

I lost the last of my faith in you, I tried so many times but it always ended the same way… Still don’t know how you could hurt me then smile as if the abuse was perfectly okay.

We are never alone in the world, no matter how it may seem.

I think it’s time I invested in me & cared for my life, love, & self esteem.

I loved you until…I could no longer hold onto the lie.

I have nothing more to give, second chances aren’t always something you can buy.

You both made choices that hurt your family, but in my eyes the love lost was never worth the comforts afforded financially.

You can’t give me a reason good enough for a childhood lost.

Tell me again, was it all worth what it cost?

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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