She’ll play the part perfectly, every word & smile placed in the right space. & everything falls flawlessly on cue, you don’t see the deadness in her eyes only the glitter painted across her face.
He runs the show & everyone here knows. With every act he has her do, her heart & soul loses a little more of its beautiful glow.
She can laugh with tears in her eyes, she can spin on a dime when she knows she’s no match for his lies.
Years & lifetimes go by…
He convinces her more & more she could never fly.
Until one day she stares lost in a sapphire, star filled sky…& she begins to wonder if this is all there is to her life…she starts to question why.
Why he always gets his way, when he doesn’t care how much from her it takes.
Why he says sorry so apologetically, when he continues to make the same mistakes.
Why she has no life outside his dark world, when he forces her to feel so lonely & cold.
For so long he led her to believe she was the broken one…she never knew the whole life he claimed to give her, was all a fabrication after it was all said & done.
He never had any intentions of loving her the way she always needed to be loved. He told her to never say a word as he held her arms & heart hostage, his hands perfectly around her in white, untouchable gloves.
No black & blue bruises, or fingerprints in this crime scene.
Smile. Break down. Sit quietly. Smile. It’s all just part of her routine.
Break away for a moment…she has reasons outside of him to live.
She knows there’s more in her to ultimately give.
He called her pathetic to shatter her mind,
He called her selfish as he left his love & soul behind.
Sugar coat the memories, if you tell yourself to forget enough times, maybe you can erase all the emotional irregularities.
Forgiveness is a choice you make every day…but she doesn’t know how to forgive a man with no empathy.
But the further she moves away from him…the more she creates a life of her own, a completely different, independant identity.
Foreign psychological territories & falling dignities.
He taught her power & control over others came naturally in every incidence of masculinity.
And she needs to let it go…
To find herself & begin to grow.
Estranged goodbyes, but she’s no product or prize.
A new path lay ahead…& the old ways end.
She’s created her own self, never again to pretend.
Wishing him well, but all ties are broken in her mind.
She’s discovering a life outside of him that’s loving & unconditionally
Letting go…to not travel the same roads over & over mentally.
Starting to understand the value of mutual respect, humility, & stability.
She’s not close to perfect, but she’s someone she fearlessly loves.
And there’s not a second she’ll waste in living in the past & being the girl she once was.
Love her or leave her, she knows now what she’s worth.
No one could ever own her, she’s been loved by one ever since her birth.
You can’t have what wasn’t yours to take, love was meant to be free.
That’s how it was always meant to ever be.