A daily narrative subconsciously runs in the background of my mind…
Every word & line tied to a memory, worthlessness in all the pathways I find.
Powerless in ways, helpless most days.
I failed for so long to re-write my past.
You can only chase after a feeling for so long when it won’t last.
I tell myself to create a new story, turn the page.
To finally create a more permanent personal change.
A new beginning in transforming your own self beliefs.
There comes a time where you have to move on from living in your grief.
But perfection will never be my dream.
It takes more than positive affirmations to turn around your self esteem.
I could tell you a lie or face the truth.
We all have our own ways to cope & self soothe.
One step forward & every temptation & fear comes at me in a rage.
I can’t understand why I feel safer inside a cage.
Maybe it’s time to write a better life, one not dependent on fear.
I still believe there’s a reason I am alive & here.
Yes, I was a victim once before.
No, I won’t walk again through that door.
It takes time to find what truly matters & leave the places we have been.
To know we are worthy of being loved, even if that love must first come from within.