Your dark eyes only see through a lens of infinite, unbreakable glass boxes. My fingertips lightly trace the smooth mirrors of every little box. My hazel eyes follow the intricate, masterful architectural design. Impossibly perfect in glacial, calculated measurements. Precise to the millimeter. The surface unnervingly immaculate, & the empty air within each one crystal clear.

Endless rows of pure white boxes placed in equal spaces & positions on black slate shelves. A room of you. Rows disappearing into the unforgiving distance between your heart. You drew perfect outlines & sharp corners around every one.

A box for your family.

A box for the world.

A box for your life.

A box for everyone & everything.

Your entire life contained perfectly within simple, small walls. Glossy, pearl painted little boxes. Try as I can, I can’t find a single flaw anywhere.

Nor can I find any human

emotion….feelings…..regrets….tears…joy….dreams….warmth.

Only emptiness.

Only fears.

I look closer, my hands carefully running over the hard, cold surface.

A box that didn’t allow for change.

A box that didn’t give room for love.

A box that didn’t need anything but rules & regulations to exist.

A box made for one purpose.

To control.

You controlled everyone & everything inside these boxes. But you could never see these boxes really controlled you.

My heart trembles under my chest, every second tripping over itself in this place. I’ve realized too late, I’ve stayed far too long. A bitter truth wrapping around me, tighter & tighter with traces of you.

What could have ever happened to you, to create this nightmare?

No colors.

No beauty.

No laughter.

Nothing.

A bottomless place of nothing.

You cut out mistakes, discarded any flaws.

You threw away humanity & replaced it with….

Boxes.

Boxes that have no love in them.

Boxes that have no life in them.

Boxes & boxes & boxes of nothing.

Nothing.

My lungs burn to breathe, the glass box falling from my shaking hands. Its place on the shelf now vacant & glaring.

My knees meet the floor, my hands gripping the edge in running desperation.

The glass box falling & falling…

No one can live here.

No one can survive this place.

Decades of studying every box & every space.

Studying you.

Learning from you.

Leaving you.

Staying here just…

To eventually die.

My legs move to the door, hands reaching out inch by inch.

Lights flickering overhead, following me to freedom.

My fingers grasp the handle tightly, turning it once again.

My eyes still watching the room…

A sadness I cannot place in my heart.

For you.

The door behind me closes for the last time, my head resting against the pain.

Golden locks turn & disappear.

No one can reach you now.

I look behind me as the door fades away….

My hands reaching out to find only air.

You are gone.

You are gone.

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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