You challenge me with your eyes, passionately caring for me with your concern.
You say to me, be open to any possibility, don’t be afraid to learn.
Just be you & be brave enough to show up.
But I was taught since birth to pour all my love into someone else’s cup.
I wore a thousand masks, every one of them created to please.
Chasing after external validation & approval is a lethal, lonely disease.
The more I struggled to be someone else, the unhappier I became.
When my world & life fell apart, I knew in my heart I was the only one to truly blame.
Fear is a master of deception, it will flood your head with beautiful illusions of what may never be.
I searched everywhere, everyone, but couldn’t complete the emptiness inside of me.
For too long the memories left me with sheer terror, they told me, “don’t take up any space.”
We live in a superficial world where a person is so readily discarded & replaced.
There is no one else I can bring to the table when there is only one of me.
Losing it all forced me to find worth & value in the priceless person I was always meant to be.
You can’t narrow down a life to a calculated net worth, or replicate my body, heart, & mind.
You make a choice every single day, & it’s better to be compassionate, humble, loving towards another, than to be cold, selfish, & unkind.
I’m not perfect, I’m not a saint, a doll, or a plastic figurine.
If you only wanted someone to satisfy your needs & fantasies, you should have bought a heartless & emotionless machine.
The lie you told me…that I was worthless & useless if I didn’t do exactly as you said.
I’d rather be alive, free, loved, than with you, empty, alone, & dead.
I love me for who I am, & that will never be a crime.
I have found my own self worth, beauty, & acceptance, I will never be one of your little dimes.
I’m writing every word, every lesson, every painful memory.
For anyone out there, who feels alone & powerless in their own prison of misery.
There’s hope & there’s life in the beginning of every new day.
Take care of your heart, for it will guide you to find a more loving way.