You taught me…

Love was fear.

Fear was love.

You told me…

Shut up, don’t make a sound.

So I kept quiet.

You told me…

Bow my head, keep my eyes to the ground.

So I showed my submission.

You told me…

Don’t go another way.

So I stayed.

You told me…

Don’t think, put a smile on my face.

So I let you take control.

You told me…

Stay still.

So I didn’t move.

You told me…

Don’t follow my heart.

So I broke it instead.

You told me…

Cry for you.

So I cried more tears.

You told me…

Bleed for you.

So I did.

You told me…

Hurt myself.

So I did.

You told me…

Die for you.

So I did.

Insults are your compliments.

Compliments are your weapons.

Praise me only when I adore you.

Reward me only when I worship you.

Obey you, & I am your goddess.

Disobey you, & I am nothing.

Cater to you & you make me fly.

Ignore you & you tear apart my wings.

Reverse psychology. No real apologies.

No empathy in your eyes.

To you, love is a simple game.

Where I am a pawn, & you are king.

But with every disobedience…I gain back

Another part of me.

But with every time I turn away from you…

I get back my mind.

You say…

You’re nothing.

You’re worthless.

You’re mine.

But you don’t own me.

You don’t own anyone.

This to you was love.

This to you was life.

But fear is not love.

Love is not fear.

Your love is not worth it.

You are alone.

& all your dreams are nightmares.

Your love I don’t need anymore.

Your love kills all it touches.

Your world is dark and cold and empty.

Black & white shades.

Paperthin promises.

You live in a place where no light can reach.

Where fear and pain and suffering are your devoted allies.

Your castle is made of rage.

Back then I fought you…& you made me pay.

I believed you could control me…

But I see fear controls you.

I rebelled to keep my sanity. To protect myself from you.

I fought you to stay alive.

& now…

I don’t need to fight anymore.

Love won this war.

Your love was never worth my tears, my heart, my mind, my soul.

Your love was nothing.

It felt like…

Nothing.

You don’t know what love is.

You don’t love, you give hate.

You told me…

I love you.

So I learned what your love really was.

You told me…

Don’t go.

So I gave you good byes.

You told me…

….

But I stopped listening.

I left you to save me.

I left you to love me.

 

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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