I lay awake at night & wonder how it all could have ended differently…
My heart chasing after a falling dream never meant to be.
I only ever wanted to see love in your heart & kindness in your embrace.
But when I close my eyes all I can see is the rage dancing across the shadows of your face.
You couldn’t be the father I needed & I have so many memories to still forgive.
The longer I hold onto the past without letting you go, I wonder how I’ll ever live.
Scars along the years we’ll never have, you chose to leave.
Under your home, feelings of being unloved & alone were all I ever received.
& I won’t replay the pain when it’s time to close the door.
Why crawl, why beg, when wings were created to soar…
Your words, your hands, they killed me every time.
But I let the love in my life be my salvation for your crimes.
I’ve hated you….loved you….lost you….forgotten you…through a lifetime of crystalized tears.
But I’ve laid down my heart, let go of every offense, prayed for a new life with the courage to face my fears.
So I freely release all my cares & worries upon the wind & rain.
Love to heal me from the past, the wounds, the scars, the loss, the last of my pain.
May you be loved beyond all measure & limitation.
Life teaches us through darkness the depth of humility, & through adversity, eternal appreciation.