I lay awake at night & wonder how it all could have ended differently…

My heart chasing after a falling dream never meant to be.

I only ever wanted to see love in your heart & kindness in your embrace.

But when I close my eyes all I can see is the rage dancing across the shadows of your face.

You couldn’t be the father I needed & I have so many memories to still forgive.

The longer I hold onto the past without letting you go, I wonder how I’ll ever live.

Scars along the years we’ll never have, you chose to leave.

Under your home, feelings of being unloved & alone were all I ever received.

& I won’t replay the pain when it’s time to close the door.

Why crawl, why beg, when wings were created to soar…

Your words, your hands, they killed me every time.

But I let the love in my life be my salvation for your crimes.

I’ve hated you….loved you….lost you….forgotten you…through a lifetime of crystalized tears.

But I’ve laid down my heart, let go of every offense, prayed for a new life with the courage to face my fears.

So I freely release all my cares & worries upon the wind & rain.

Love to heal me from the past, the wounds, the scars, the loss, the last of my pain.

May you be loved beyond all measure & limitation.

Life teaches us through darkness the depth of humility, & through adversity, eternal appreciation.


Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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