You never knew real love, never felt it in your heart.
& you couldn’t give me what you didn’t have.
So you lived your life around fear, building castles in crowns & sand.
I’ve been wondering how to forgive…to finally find closure.
I don’t know what made you this way…
I don’t know how you became someone with no empathy or kindness.
I could spend a lifetime trying to fit together the pieces, but that’s your story not mine.
All I can do is create my own life.
Dedicate my time to what I love, cherish, & give.
You lived your entire life with an impossible world view, no happiness or warmth in your eyes.
I never knew you because there were only layers & layers of coldness, indifference, & a desire to have power & control over everything & everyone in your life…
Love cannot live or survive in this environment you invented.
I don’t pity you. I don’t excuse you from what you have done.
But I have a sadness for the kind of life you have lived.
One ruled by fear & emptiness.
You see people as a means to an end, pawns in a game you have to win.
You see the world as the adversary, & you as the victim.
You need prestigious titles & positions to feel valuable.
You need an expensive, lavish lifestyle to compensate for the worth you don’t feel.
You are locked in a mindset where there is no end, no way to win, nothing to hold.
I feel for you, yet I don’t ever expect to trust you again.
I see your pain, but I won’t let you back into my life.
We make our own choices every day.
& a life without love…
Was not one I could ever choose.