I made excuses when it was easy,
Day dreams in denial so I didn’t see…
When I let you take the driver’s seat
I stayed safely in the back, escaping all responsibility.
I kept each & every one of your receipts…
But the script I’ve been living in for years now is obsolete.
Couldn’t walk away then when you ensured I could eat…
Saying goodbye to you as an adult tasted bittersweet.
I was a victim for so long but I let it happen, always feeling incomplete.
Stayed until my eyes lost their light & their passion, accepting my defeat.
I gave my power away in a circular mentality.
Years later, the smoke has cleared & finally I can see.
A victim, then a survivor is what I could be.
No situation, no event, no person can decide my own destiny.
Every step I take on my own serves to empower me.
At the end I know I was the one who had the capability to break free.
You crashed the car & my old life ended suddenly.
I left the site with my mind & heart suspended in recovery.
We parted ways, then I walked towards a life where I didn’t feel like everything was just pretend.
I found my own car to drive this time, slowly finding courage to allow my heart to mend.
The one apology I needed was the one I refused to give.
Finding a way to face what I’m accountable for, the wrongs I continue to live.
I take my life one day at a time, cherishing growth over perfection.
Trusting in myself to choose a life guided by love in the right direction.
I once only saw allies & enemies in every corner.
I once only believed my role was to endlessly be a performer.
But it gets a little easier every moment I stay true to my own heart.
I chose a new life, rather than return to my old one to forever press restart.
A new life begins with my mind.
This one I want to be more brave, thankful, & kind.