I made excuses when it was easy,

Day dreams in denial so I didn’t see…

When I let you take the driver’s seat

I stayed safely in the back, escaping all responsibility.

I kept each & every one of your receipts…

But the script I’ve been living in for years now is obsolete.

Couldn’t walk away then when you ensured I could eat…

Saying goodbye to you as an adult tasted bittersweet.

I was a victim for so long but I let it happen, always feeling incomplete.

Stayed until my eyes lost their light & their passion, accepting my defeat.

I gave my power away in a circular mentality.

Years later, the smoke has cleared & finally I can see.

A victim, then a survivor is what I could be.

No situation, no event, no person can decide my own destiny.

Every step I take on my own serves to empower me.

At the end I know I was the one who had the capability to break free.

You crashed the car & my old life ended suddenly.

I left the site with my mind & heart suspended in recovery.

We parted ways, then I walked towards a life where I didn’t feel like everything was just pretend.

I found my own car to drive this time, slowly finding courage to allow my heart to mend.

The one apology I needed was the one I refused to give.

Finding a way to face what I’m accountable for, the wrongs I continue to live.

I take my life one day at a time, cherishing growth over perfection.

Trusting in myself to choose a life guided by love in the right direction.

I once only saw allies & enemies in every corner.

I once only believed my role was to endlessly be a performer.

But it gets a little easier every moment I stay true to my own heart.

I chose a new life, rather than return to my old one to forever press restart.

A new life begins with my mind.

This one I want to be more brave, thankful, & kind.

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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