I chased after your shadows and got tangled up in mine.
But I told myself it was worth it every single broken time.
I let my health and happiness fall alone by the wayside.
When all that was said and done I had no where else to hide.
I let myself slip away…
It was wrong but it felt good to blame you at the end of the day.
Now I’m looking at all the damage I’ve done to myself and it’s far from okay.
Time to own up to my mistakes and do what needs to be done to give love room to finally stay.
I may have not opened the door to pain but I let it make a home in my life.
Instead of taking responsibility I hid like a coward within the walls of my own strife.
But I took a deep, long look at myself tonight and the truth slid into me like a knife.
I gave my power away when I chose pain over love, it still kills me that I know,
I could have blamed you forever but now my true colors are beginning to show.
It’s not easy to admit where I went wrong.
Too stubborn to confess, the choice resided with me all along.
So I say my good byes to all my excuses, I finish the last of my self pity.
You were wrong in what you did to me, but I was the one who believed your words, that I was only meant to sit silently and smile pretty.
I needed to heal myself rather than chase after your fading fantasies.
I needed to believe in myself but I let you tell me who to be.
But today I take back my power and my voice to create a life I could cherish.
Let all my old ways and thoughts and past forever perish.
It won’t happen overnight but I’ll build myself a home day by day.
I’ll let love, not fear, map out the way.