Triggered again the other day…
Just when I thought I had a new life and shed my old ways.
Tempted to give into the defeating thoughts once again in my mind.
Always there to fight with me, cruel, harsh, and ever unkind.
Thoughts telling me, I’m not good enough, I’m just someone to be used.
But this time I wouldn’t go into that dark place, I calmly refused.
Anxiety and depression, they just want you to stay forever confused.
If you let them, they will continue to replay every incidence of abuse.
So I focused on having fun, on doing the little things that give me joy.
I gave my attention to what I could do to love myself, instead to the intentions only wanting to destroy.
A person is not the same as a child’s toy.
But he played with me as if it was something he needed to enjoy.
All the old stories I’ve told myself are untrue.
If you’re living in a nightmare, you have to keep going through.
One day, little by little, it will be easier to paint a more loving point of view.
