I tried for so long…
To get over you.
Forcing myself to forget the memories.
But I never walked too far.
You were my world and we have years in between.
Maybe I’ll never get over how you left.
Maybe these scars will always be there…
I guess I have to stop telling myself you didn’t matter at all.
The truth is…
My tears were a way to hold on to you.
And I didn’t want to let go.
And I didn’t want to be over you.
Acceptance is a new place for me.
I don’t know it very well.
And I don’t have to pretend you didn’t mean anything to me.
My past is filled with stories of love so distant from me.
Of people who were too far away.
I wrote myself in a time paralyzed in your memories.
When you abandoned me,
I abandoned me.
You matter to me, you do.
But there was a part of me that changed.
No longer seeing through the same…
Distorted view.
With every word and every play…
You pushed me away.
Until I stopped trying.
Until I gave up on loving you,
To love me.
And I know you had your struggles…battles you could never win.
But I have to heal myself before a new life…
Can begin.
