Loving him is warfare…
Every word is a military issued weapon.
Every act is a deliberately planned assault.
You could spend forever waiting for him to finally care.
And he doesn’t even know he’s in a war with himself and not with me.
He decorates his arms in medals and daggers, but nothing is ever his fault.
In my youth…
A man I once knew…
He told me…love is war.
For him, fear is what you live for.
He taught me…defend yourself, prepare for battle on the daily.
I resented that I couldn’t leave him and the way he would portray me…
Then one day…
I found another kind of love and kindness.
Someone who introduced me to all my own blindness.
He told me…
Love is simple gift and you’re worthy.
You’re in safe hands, there’s no need to worry.
He laid down his armor and showed me his vulnerabilities.
Then I knew…love was always what I needed and I let go of my past memories.
He said…
I love you in your best and worst moments, don’t let his words get into your head.
Listen to my heart and know instead…
You’re the most kind and generous person I know.
There’s depth and courage and beauty in you, to him there’s nothing that you owe.
Your life is yours and no one can take it away.
Let me show you…
A kinder, more loving way.
