Loving someone in a fantasy…
It’s not the same as embracing love’s real complexity.
Any day of the week, I’d rather be loved than adored.
You were my entire world…for the record.
But the hero I believed in, he had a darkness we all ignored.
If I had just…seen the pain in the drinks you poured.
Tear me down so I would fall in love.
Have me believe you fell from above.
Red flags were meant to warn.
When it came down to it…everything you did made me regret being born.
Obsession…grew from rejection.
We never had a true connection.
I don’t want my life to follow your directions.
Dying to be seen by you for affection…
Love doesn’t mean keeping someone like a possession.
And it took a long time for my eyes to fully capture.
You don’t have the stories to match her.
Trade in my fantasies for life and all of its terror, beauty, love, and tragedy.
Because losing yourself to someone else completely is insanity.
My old self would have lived a life of slavery.
But I’ve learned healing these wounds and letting go of the past takes a certain kind of bravery.
You hurt me…and I don’t want to take this resentment to my grave.
I’m not one to ever sit around and wait to be saved.
Life hits hard and it doesn’t let you stop and rest.
There were times I didn’t believe I would survive the cruelty of this test.
I didn’t want it, but adversity brought out the best…
Your darkness only made me want to know love more.
I can’t go back the the life and person I was before.