Every time I think of him…

I can only remember the ways he hurt me.

In my own field of vision…the pain is all I can see.

I guess we all have blindspots of our own to evaluate.

Took me a while to trade in all my tears and remaining hate.

The truth is I loved him…he was my father, how could I not care.

But the times he used and weaponized his love…it wasn’t fair.

It’s funny how you can look up to someone and see them blindly.

Even now there’s still a part of me worried he will one day find me.

Growing up was painful and scary at times…but back then I didn’t know any better.

Now all I have of him are the memories and unsent letters…

How do you let go of the man who raised you?

The one who was there as you grew.

But when I think about it…he wasn’t there in the way I needed him to be.

When you love someone you don’t prevent them from flying free.

Control and power were his main priorities.

Around him I couldn’t…find any love within me.

It’s a difficult lesson to walk away from someone you loved and let them go.

But sometimes it’s the only way to find peace of mind and finally begin to grow.

 

 

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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