Your words cut into me…
But you say them so easily.
It tears upon my heart and soul.
The memories I have of you only leave a hole.
I hate myself for opening the door for you.
You have no idea what you put me through.
This connection has reached its final end.
Because I was there when your abusive boyfriend screamed your name.
And I was there when you turned the tables and suddenly I was to blame.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand why.
Our last conversation…I can’t even try.
You said to me…
“He’s making me dinner, I’m so lucky.”
He’s such a great guy.
He’s the reason for the pain you continue to deny.
It breaks my heart that you don’t see the abuse behind the love he gives.
Then you tell me I’m the one who needs to change and I need to forgive.
But I was there when he mocked your pain.
And now I see all my attempts to help were in vain.
He cheated on you three times and that wasn’t enough to leave.
Now I’m left with the loss of a friendship and I don’t know how to grieve.
There’s no pain like seeing someone you care about lose their way.
For the life of me I try to understand why you chose to stay….
He was violent and scary but all you talk about is how grateful you are to have him there.
I try. I try so hard to get it…but it shatters my heart every time I reach out and show you I care.
We used to be so alike, twins from two different families.
But I’ve lived this story…and I know it only ends in tragedy.
What would I give to let you see that his love is not love at all.
But I can’t even bring myself to say it again…that’s why I don’t answer when you call.
Our friendship took a turn….
I always blamed myself for the way the bridges burned.
But now I see…
You would rather live in a fantasy…
Than face reality.
I can’t pretend anymore to smile as if everything between us is alright.
Our friendship won’t last through a single more night.
Because I should have walked away a long time ago…
I just didn’t want to let go…
But holding on is too painful.
If I stayed…to my own heart I would be unfaithful.
I can’t stay here anymore.
It’s time to leave behind this door.