I make mistakes…
At times I don’t give as much as I take.
Sometimes I see only black and white.
I can confuse what’s wrong with what’s right.
I shouldn’t blame you for the choices I’ve made.
All my anger and pain beginning to fade.
I’m no better than you, when we all have our own dualities.
There’s no end to life’s scale and complexities.
It’s easy for me to point the blame.
A cover up for the inner shame.
Sometimes the high road is admitting when we’re wrong.
Even when the seduction of ego is misleading and too strong.
It takes time to forgive.
I hated how you told me how to live.
But underneath I could see your suffering.
Kindness is a whole new world I’m now discovering.
There’s many emotions you feel when recovering.
Anger. Pain. Despair. Loss. Blame. Sorrow.
But I don’t want my past to imprison all of my tomorrows.
I won’t deny what you did but I won’t glorify it either.
A hero, a villain, but you were neither.
You were a man who was broken and ashamed.
Insecure and militarily trained.
Sometimes the hardest step is away from someone you love, to save yourself.
Sometimes broken people choose to live in denial and never get any real help.
I’m sad for the loss you endured.
I understand all your methods to feel safe and secured.
But I’m also walking away…
Because it was never my job to save.
I hope love finds you each and every day.