I planned for every moment…
Wrote endless strategies…
A perfectionist to say the least.
But every moment was fixed.
Every second was timed.
Pressures and stress lined every breath.
I couldn’t bare the thought of being hurt again.
So I planned and planned…
Worry was my ally.
Fear was my motivation.
Love was…a fantasy.
But when I let go…
Everything changed.
My need for control faded into dreams…then disappeared.
My desire for power vanished without a second thought.
Life showed up on my doorstep.
After years of keeping it out…
I let life and love in.
Stopped trying to stop it.
You can plan for every scenario…
You can execute every plan of action…
You can predict every outcome with a fine pen…
But you can’t live at the same time.
You can’t let go and hold on.
You can’t be afraid and live in fear.
You can’t love and hold onto hate.
Life is a beautiful gift.
Somewhere along the way…
This truth was something I missed.