Never thought of us as unhealthy until the day I took a step back…

All of my movements and thoughts…you seem to obsessively track.

Back then…the good times all seem to fade away to black.

I tried to stay….but the more I did the more of myself I lost.

No matter who you want to hold onto…sacrificing yourself in the process isn’t worth the cost.

You were my dearest friend and I would have done anything for you.

But you trying to convince me he’s a good guy again…it’s too much to put me through.

It took me a long time to see…you were too broken to be a good friend to me.

I don’t say it to hurt you…but your love…it all just feels a little cheap.

The guilt…if I let it would consume all the good in me.

At the end of the day…I felt like your time wasn’t for free.

Tear me down and pretend it’s okay.

But at some point…I have to decide you’re not going to ruin my entire day.

Despair was once the makeup I used to wear.

But living every moment as if you don’t deserve it, isn’t quite fair.

There’s so many places we went wrong…

But I always hoped our friendship would survive when it was strong.

But I had to let go when I felt dragged along.

I hope you don’t hate me for walking away.

I hope you understand why it would have killed me to stay.

I’m not proud of how I hurt you…it hurts me that we didn’t make it.

But I reached a point where I could no longer fake it.

Still…

I wish you the best, I truly do.

To our own hearts, we must be fully true.

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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