it breaks my heart when…
your words speak from my mouth.
it shatters me when…
i give life to your rage.
sometimes you become the very person you hate.
the one you obsess over.
the one you beg and plead with to stay…
as they continue to break you down.
power and control.
it’s all endless games.
games no one ever wins.
i never wanted to be him.
but i made him everything.
it hurts me the way i hurt you.
how do i make it stop.
every lesson i was left with only has one goal.
i try to choose love when fear keeps me close.
his love wasn’t love at all.
but his shadows and darkness show up in me.
sometimes to slay the monster…
you become him.
without knowing it.
it breaks my heart…
when i said to you…what he said to me.
when i did to you…what he did to me…
using the same shame and guilt to win.
fear whispers of insecurity and fragile egos.
i don’t want to be him.
don’t want to carry on his legacy.
love show me another way.
another way to love.
another way to let go.
let me not be him.