A little more than vulnerable.
In any setting I can suddenly feel panicked and uncomfortable.
There are times I am overwhelmed with emotions and overreact.
I struggle with thinking all you do isn’t just a played out act.
But my kindness doesn’t mean I’m weak.
Still a little triggered when I feel you don’t want me to speak.
Years ago I…hid behind this golden painted shell.
Within all the painful memories and what happened created a prisoner’s cell.
Too attached to the currents of shame and a never ending guilt…
Brick by brick, tearing down the walls and wounds they built.
It takes a twisted person to break another to feed their fragile, frightened ego.
I thought it was him, but in the end it was me who needed to find a way to embrace myself and let go.
He was controlled by his own insecurities and in that sense, fear prevented him from ever knowing how to love and be free.
All my life I had to live in his shadows…but it’s time to make a change. It’s time to choose me.