gone

when you start to heal… the world you once knew looks completely different to your eyes… your heart now won’t put up with the manipulations and the lies… you find peace in the boundaries you set to stay healthy and happy in your own space… and you no longer have to fight to have love…

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pain still

he never could be the person I dreamed of… but still once a hero in my eyes… then it hurt and it hurt when he only could give me lies… though I wish him well, the pain still needs time to heal… my mind now aware of what was fake and what was real.

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fake

I made a choice and commitment to the one I love. He’s the one I have when push comes to shove. And I’m human in every way I still make mistakes. But loving someone when I don’t is something I could never fake.  

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faithful

have you ever wanted someone or something you could never have? you put them on a pedestal, worshipping every gesture and phrase… your mind and heart lost in a confused and smoky haze… but obsession isn’t really love at the end of the day…. you want them to need you but you don’t know that…

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say and do

you represent everything I couldn’t let go of… still miss seeing your face even if… the way I think about you has changed.. see you were there in a way he never was… but I project my rejected feelings in the way I think I need you… I’m more careful now in what I say…

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blessed

I cried today…. Thinking of all the moments my father and I will never share…. Our paths no longer intertwine and I can’t act like I don’t care. But where ever he is now, I do wish him every happiness. No matter what happened between us, I still feel lucky and blessed.

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I’m saying

we were meant to be loved, not imprisoned. but sometimes those we love have an unbreakable chained vision… one where they keep you under their thumb… where it’s okay to treat you like you’re incompetent and dumb… but if that’s the case I’d rather be the only one… because I need me more than I…

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