said I wouldn’t talk about you…

said I would leave it in the past…

but the past has a way of showing up when you haven’t completely healed it…

they mixed poison in my drink and told me it was love…

guilt, shame, blame, perfectly blended with reward, attention, cover ups…

punish…confuse…reward….punish….confuse….reward….punish…

repeat a lie until it becomes true…

repeat a lie until it becomes true…

criticize…compliment…punish…reward…criticize….

you left me in an impossible maze…

mentally, emotionally, psychologically….

a person can break and bleed…

you tore me down and replaced me with a version of your own liking…

he had a military background…

expert training in power and control…

but his love was all she could ever know….

it happened so many times I didn’t understand it was wrong…

I escaped into a fantasy of my mind…

to run from the reality I was living…

lessons and memories…

hardwired in the patterns of my mind…

but then everything changed…

when I learned their love was not love at all…

because it was never truly selfless and kind…

patterns can be unlearned…

people can change when they decide too…

the tears made me stronger….

the love I had for my life and those around me….

saved me…

in the end….

I saved myself from you…

and I’m not ashamed of it…

and I’m not running anymore…

because I am not afraid.

no I am not afraid.

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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