feel

I wondered what my life would be…

Without the constant tension of anxiety…

And the darkness painted in rain clouds around my mind…

I wondered what my life would be if I could accept it could be kind…

If I stopped looking for the trouble I don’t truly need…

If I could somehow accept not every heart is born from greed…

What would it be if I accept life’s real uncertainty…

My finger always rested on the triggers of predictability…

He may have started it…but I contributed to my own fears and insecurities…

But the old ways and behaviors don’t pave the way to be free…

So I set down my defenses…

I stop planning elaborate offenses…

And sit with my heart so I can heal…

Beautifully true and vulnerable in the way I feel…