I wondered what my life would be…
Without the constant tension of anxiety…
And the darkness painted in rain clouds around my mind…
I wondered what my life would be if I could accept it could be kind…
If I stopped looking for the trouble I don’t truly need…
If I could somehow accept not every heart is born from greed…
What would it be if I accept life’s real uncertainty…
My finger always rested on the triggers of predictability…
He may have started it…but I contributed to my own fears and insecurities…
But the old ways and behaviors don’t pave the way to be free…
So I set down my defenses…
I stop planning elaborate offenses…
And sit with my heart so I can heal…
Beautifully true and vulnerable in the way I feel…