All articles filed in January 14, 2020

I don’t want my old life anymore…. It doesn’t fit me quite right… The habits and patterns I made back then feel foreign and unfamiliar to me now… I’m not the same person I once was… I don’t want what I used to…. I don’t need it… And that is the best feeling in the…

you will never know how you changed my life… the positivity you left me with… the kindness you selflessly showed me… the way you showed up in my life on a constant basis…. the personal experiences you shared… the way you loved me…. for all of it… I’m so incredibly thankful for… thank you.

When you rejected me, it shattered me…. When you abandoned me, it killed me… When you left me, it scarred me… When you abused me, it broke me… But…. I still lived… I didn’t stop breathing… It hurt me for a long time… It left me paralyzed… It damaged me… But my heart is healing……

If you don’t love me… If you don’t accept me…. If you don’t want me… If you don’t care for me… If you don’t understand me… If you don’t stay… I will be okay…. I will still live…. I will love me… I will accept me… I will want me…. I will care for me……

I don’t have to argue my position… I don’t have to explain myself… I don’t have to fight for you to see my own worth…. I don’t have to beg you to agree…. I don’t have to…

I don’t want your love when it comes with thorns…. And I don’t want your kindness when it is followed by mind games…. I don’t want your flattery… When you want a fantasy instead… I used to think…. My only role in this life was to… Make you happy… Make you satisfied… But you…. You…

I’m not doing this for you…. I’m not living my life for your approval… I’m not thirsting for your validation…. I’m not begging for your love…. I’m not clinging to your compliments…. I’m not breathing for your happiness… This is for me. This is so I can feel good about the person I see in…

love shouldn’t feel dangerous…. love shouldn’t feel lethal…. love shouldn’t feel cold… love shouldn’t feel empty…. love shouldn’t feel hollow… love shouldn’t feel superficial…. love shouldn’t feel unstable…. love shouldn’t feel volatile…. love shouldn’t feel conditional… love shouldn’t feel hopeless… love shouldn’t feel miserable… love shouldn’t feel draining… love shouldn’t feel life taking…. then maybe….…

I’m cutting off my life support on the fears I lived for… I’m disconnecting my need for outside validation and conditional love… I’m ending my toxic relationship with misery… Back then… Attention, even harmful attention, was life to me… It meant I was able to survive… But in that old life I was always dying…