I’m cutting off my life support on the fears I lived for…

I’m disconnecting my need for outside validation and conditional love…

I’m ending my toxic relationship with misery…

Back then…

Attention, even harmful attention, was life to me…

It meant I was able to survive…

But in that old life I was always dying of thirst…

Always a second closer to my own death…

Never knew the feeling of being enough…

But you fall in love with drowning…

When you don’t know anything else….

But not today…

Today I choose life…

I choose love…

Shifting my focus on you to me….

For the first time asking myself what would help me…

Get better and find a healthier way to live…

Because I’m tired of surviving…

On the rare drops of his attention…

I thought it was enough back then….

But he left me alone….

And he let me starve to death…

And I just can’t….

I can’t do it anymore…

Love shouldn’t feel like that….

No, love should….

Feel safe and full….

A steady, constant….

But his love was never constant or safe…

So I guess….

My love will be the one….

To save me.

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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