normal

it was “normal” for me to cry myself to sleep after another angry, defeated fight….

it was “normal” for me to run away in a place of my own imagination where you couldn’t reach me…

it was “normal” for me to shut down emotionally until all I could feel was the numbness as it took over my body….

it was “normal” for me to drink your shame and wear it around my neck as it suffocated me slowly….

it was “normal” for me to stare for too long at a double edged blade against my skin….

it was “normal” for you to pour your despair and emptiness into me endlessly…

it was “normal” for me to drown in silence and helplessness….

it was “normal” for me to swallow your insults and put downs….

it was “normal” for me to stare into the mirror and hate the reflection I saw instead of hating you….

it was “normal” for me to make excuses for the way you lost your temper again…

it was “normal” for me to break down and sob uncontrollably….

it was “normal” for me to see your abuse as love….

but it’s not normal to me anymore…

you are an abuser.

you always will be to me.

I don’t care if you once wore the label of “father”

I don’t care if you claim you loved me…

It wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t okay.

And I will not let you steal

Anymore of my days.