never free

I was only a girl… And I had no power… To stop him… And I tried to stop it…. But I wasn’t strong enough… My heart still panics in black memories… My mind still dreads the promise in his eyes drenched in rage… It still scares me… When I think of what he could do…

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me

I fell in love with the pain… The attachment to the helplessness you made me feel… And there, in that place, I lost sight of what was fake and what was real… I thought I had to kill the version of myself that you sought out to harm… But in doing so, I lost me…

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bare

I was living in a place of pain… All my efforts to control the uncontrollable fell away in vain… And I made a home out of a personal hell… Painting a picture of a villain and victim I knew far too well… The only way to heal was to drown the tears in unconditional love…

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forever stay

your presence is a blessing…. even that’s something I know… and all the words you say and love you give me… gives me the courage to beautifully grow… I loved him when his violence washed upon my world… and I loved him when the light and love in my eyes grew distant and cold… but…

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fatal mistake

Back then… I was in a self destructive tidal wave… And every part of me believed I needed to be saved… But the abuse kept my heart and my mind imprisoned in a safe… We live in a world of the choices we alone decide to make… And love is no longer something I have…

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Break Away

Had a dream of you but it’s not the same… Only have myself and my thoughts to blame… Battling with my past and my present but it all feels so tame… I’m not the person I was when I was desperate for someone to care… Back then I looked outside myself for you to show…

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for me

I don’t want my old life anymore…. It doesn’t fit me quite right… The habits and patterns I made back then feel foreign and unfamiliar to me now… I’m not the same person I once was… I don’t want what I used to…. I don’t need it… And that is the best feeling in the…

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this is for you

you will never know how you changed my life… the positivity you left me with… the kindness you selflessly showed me… the way you showed up in my life on a constant basis…. the personal experiences you shared… the way you loved me…. for all of it… I’m so incredibly thankful for… thank you.

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when you….

When you rejected me, it shattered me…. When you abandoned me, it killed me… When you left me, it scarred me… When you abused me, it broke me… But…. I still lived… I didn’t stop breathing… It hurt me for a long time… It left me paralyzed… It damaged me… But my heart is healing……

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If you don’t

If you don’t love me… If you don’t accept me…. If you don’t want me… If you don’t care for me… If you don’t understand me… If you don’t stay… I will be okay…. I will still live…. I will love me… I will accept me… I will want me…. I will care for me……

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