letting go

I still hear your condescending tone in his voice….even when it’s not there…. I still feel the tension in my nerves….even when I know I’m safe… I still lose myself to anxiety and panic….when there’s nothing to be afraid of… It takes a long time to let go…. Every day I’m still letting go….

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normal

it was “normal” for me to cry myself to sleep after another angry, defeated fight…. it was “normal” for me to run away in a place of my own imagination where you couldn’t reach me… it was “normal” for me to shut down emotionally until all I could feel was the numbness as it took…

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never the same

he always cared about presenting perfect appearances…. but he never cared long enough for my own disappearances… put me on a shelf only to control every thought and action… but he wouldn’t even blink when he cut me into a million tiny fractions…. he raised me to believe I only was worth what I could…

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choose me

there’s no absence left in the places I abandoned….. and I never knew love until I learned how to love myself… it’s really time I said goodbye to the past of stained yesterdays… and embrace the life I have ahead of me… I glorified you… I tore you down… I held on but my heart…

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these shores

he was a boy masquerading as a man… but his heart was made of cardboard… the surface shined like no other… but there was only emptiness underneath… and I loved him… until the day… he shattered my innocence away… I don’t glorify his memories anymore… and I know now to walk away and close the…

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choosing me

He lived in a shadowed world… A heart full of pain turned empty and cold… The past grew the rage in him until… His love and his life grew colorless and still… She didn’t stand a chance… Just another victim in his dark and distorted dance… But her pain would heal… Her life… He couldn’t…

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never free

I was only a girl… And I had no power… To stop him… And I tried to stop it…. But I wasn’t strong enough… My heart still panics in black memories… My mind still dreads the promise in his eyes drenched in rage… It still scares me… When I think of what he could do…

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