love

he wanted to take my humanity… but he showed me the beauty of compassion instead…. he wanted to break my spirit…. but the fears only existed within my head…. he wanted to end my life… but I chose love…. love…  

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stole

he pulled me apart… shredded every string…. even when I had nothing left…. he took that away too…. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes…. the endless sea of black…. his love was drenched in poison… and every choice I ever had… he stole…  

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free

With him…. I never could be me…. He wanted to strip away my wings…. He had none for himself…. Someone like him could never understand what unconditional love is…. He will never feel the beauty of selfless giving…. He will never know the happiness of cheering someone else on…. He will never feel the contentment…

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me

I never knew me….. But I knew everything he wanted me to be…. I knew the tone of voice and gestures, to perfectly match his plans…. I knew how to act to avoid another fight…. I knew how to say sorry like it was my own name…. I knew how to bow my head in…

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if I….

if I said the right words… maybe you wouldn’t get so angry at times…. if I did all the right things… maybe it wouldn’t feel like I’m always guilty of a crime… love by you was always walking on thin ice…. I never knew when or how it would break…. but it was fragile and…

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pain

I swallowed his anger and made it my own…. When he lost it over a spilled drink or dropped plates… And I just couldn’t…. Understand it then…. Whenever I made a mistake he would… Light a fire to my heart and watch it burn….. When I was human and vulnerable and real…. He would break…

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I never loved you….

I never loved you… But I loved a fantasy of you…. The one I painted over the real you to…. Survive… The painful truth is… I never knew you…. The real you… And I kept holding onto the fantasy… Until my fingers bled with your own blood…. And I lost myself in the lies and…

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