free

you didn’t always love me kindly….

you didn’t always hold me close….

the trauma changed me….

the tears and the guards I put up….

don’t give away easily….

every protective measure….

every wall….

to protect myself….

to survive….

but surviving isn’t the same as living….

isn’t the same as loving…

trust doesn’t evolve overnight….

love doesn’t grow in a day….

you weren’t there when I thought about taking my own life….

you didn’t wipe away my tears when I cried throughout the night….

you couldn’t support me when I wanted to be my own person and follow my own dreams…

you lived in a world where all you could see was a fantasy….

I once was terrified to leave….

Scared of the punishment I would always receive….

But your love was never for free…

Never for free…

So I had to leave….

To save the last of me….