I push you away….
Then ask you to please stay…
I tell you I don’t need you…
Then I reach out in everything I do….
The way I grew up…
I was always empty, filling and pouring myself into other peoples’ cups…
The trauma doesn’t leave right away…
At times you do what you can to make it through a difficult and trying day…
When someone conditions you to believe love is just a mind game….
You internalize every dark shade of guilt and you bury deep the feelings of worthlessness and hateful shame….
Then…
If you’re lucky enough…
One day you sit alone….
The harshness and coldness of your inner voice takes a kinder, more loving tone….
I have trust issues, I do….
Once my entire world was painted in a helpless and heartless view…
But I try day by day to…
Pour more love and kindness into….
My own life and cup…
And it’s…..
More than enough….
