Why

Why would you give up someone… If you loved them…. Why wouldn’t you fight to hell and back for them…. How could you give up so easily… Not put up a fight… No matter how I think of how you left me… No reason ever feels like it’s enough or right…. But maybe… I don’t…

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I couldn’t

I couldn’t keep them together… No matter what I did… The happiness fell from their eyes… And their tears became mine… But love… Love was missing… From their scars and hearts… All I wanted was to keep us together… But it didn’t matter in the end…

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to you…

i blame myself for breaking up… a family… wondering if… ever meeting them would be just a fantasy… and i blame myself for things i didn’t do… wondering if… i was just a mistake to you…

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all I have

why did he leave her… why didn’t he stay… wasn’t I enough… for them to choose a different way… why they didn’t keep me… why I wasn’t enough…being me… I can’t let go of the impossible fantasy… one of a loving, beautiful family… wondering if… it all would have been different if they had… but…

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sweet tears

chasing after memories I’ve never had… wondering why he left… why he couldn’t just see the value of what he had… sweet tears and temporary fears… dreams and reality wrapped up in one… broken hearts and stories after all was said and done… after all was said and done…

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free

I lived in your world… where the air was cold and empty… I lost myself in the glittering lights… the promises you told me felt so hopeful and bright… your love was scarce…I was starving for affection… but I made a fatal mistake when I believed your violence was loving attention… I stay in circles,…

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free

darkest of nights… where nothing I do seems to be right… temptation to give in… but fear… can never win… love is in the choices we make… love is not something you could ever fake… and I may not always taste victory… but love… love is always given for free…

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pretending

I wanted to be adored… So I hid beneath a world of fears… Everything I imagined… Only thinly covered all the painful tears…. I was just a child…growing up in a scary place… My life…my days…my self… All of it I wanted to erase… So I created a new reality… That only existed in my…

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real life

there was no conspiracy… no bigger scheme… just a girl who experienced abuse & neglect… and created a real life fantasy… there’s a feeling of loss… a different kind of grief… one where you are devastated at the lies you chose too long to believe… but in the lies comes truth… one where you have…

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you

you tossed me away… and it was like I didn’t matter… in a second you set fire to… all the years… all the trust… all the memories… it would take so long… to repair the brokenness… to learn how to love myself… in a way I never knew… to let go… and say goodbye to…

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