thankful

I waited forever….

For you to change….

To see a glimmer of hope within those dark depths…

I missed birthdays and holidays and celebrations…

Because I knew in my heart you could change…

You could be the man I believed so much in…

You could one day see all the pain and tears you left me with…

You could one day love me in all the ways I so needed to be loved….

You could save me from….the cruelest sides of you….

But it wasn’t meant to be…

I wasn’t the one to change you….

Only you could do that…

I waited on you forever….

As my heart waited on me to love me…

It took a few lifetimes…

A couple lonely, empty nights….

But one day…

I woke up…

And instead of needing you to love me…

I found myself needing me to love me…

It was enough…

I am enough…

And for the first time….

It doesn’t matter to me that you could never see that….

If I see the beauty in me…

If I believe in my worth….

Than that loneliness and emptiness I always felt around you….

Begins to fill with all the love I found within me…

All the love I’m beginning to grow…

And for that lesson…

I will always be thankful for.