pretending

I wanted to be adored… So I hid beneath a world of fears… Everything I imagined… Only thinly covered all the painful tears…. I was just a child…growing up in a scary place… My life…my days…my self… All of it I wanted to erase… So I created a new reality… That only existed in my…

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real life

there was no conspiracy… no bigger scheme… just a girl who experienced abuse & neglect… and created a real life fantasy… there’s a feeling of loss… a different kind of grief… one where you are devastated at the lies you chose too long to believe… but in the lies comes truth… one where you have…

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you

you tossed me away… and it was like I didn’t matter… in a second you set fire to… all the years… all the trust… all the memories… it would take so long… to repair the brokenness… to learn how to love myself… in a way I never knew… to let go… and say goodbye to…

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real

living in a dream… you never… fully face the harshness and coldness… of reality… I kept myself safe… wrapped in illusions… until they all came crashing down… it wasn’t real… but I loved it all the same… I loved an illusion… a fracture, golden piece of a truth that never existed… what do you do…

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truth

come back… don’t go… don’t leave me with my fears… don’t let me go… I wanted to stay in my dreams… but they were never the same after… after I saw the truth…  

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left

in my dreams… I was never alone… never left… in my dreams… I was adored… in my dreams… I had everything.. and you never… left…  

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good bye

I loved someone I never knew… Wrote love letters to a hero in my dreams… Left with tears of a unreal kind… Saying good bye too… The fantasy of my mind…

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mind

the reality is in front of my eyes… even though it hurts to see… but now here I lay… with the pieces of my heart… how could I be swept away… by a mere illusion in my mind…  

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existed

My heart sees the cracks and splinters in my dreams… Dreams I lived and loved… The images and words felt so real… My mind created this entire world… And I believed in it… I feel foolish as the pain of waking up washes upon me… I put all my hopes and dreams in you… But…

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morning

Sleep… Awake in dreams… Dreaming in a shifting reality… I’m lost in the shades… Dividing truth and fantasy… Tell me a pretty lie… Leave me with apologies… But where will we be when morning comes…

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