I struggled with the girl in the mirror…
Always wanted to run away…
Happiness fluttered like a butterfly…
But I couldn’t get her to stay….
The past is long gone and my mind is caught up in the details…
My tendency towards tears and self destruction…there’s a struggle to curtail…
When left alone…too much time can be a burden…
Sometimes you have to leave behind your nightmares and close the curtain…
Nothing in life is promised forever, nothing is ever certain…
I loved the highs, I loved the lows, I loved the laughter, I loved the tears…
But for a long time I lost myself in the pain of my adolescent years…
Battling wars and fears inside my head…
Could of walked away but I’m here instead…
Family issues and family ties…
I wanted to believe your love was real…but all my hands hold are pretty and precious lies….
Still I’m thankful for the time and experiences my heart carries softly…
The nature I once had…was a tidal wave…
He took away so much…he stole more than I ever willingly gave…
I can be dark…when I begin to feel the hurt…
Back then…I would have given anything to not be the one you desert…
Oh it was complicated…it was a painful way to live…
Some people…only care about what you have to give…
What you have to give…
I wanted to be loved…I wanted to be needed…
And I wish he could have seen the way he hurt me…how coldly he treated…
Sorry I don’t mean to walk down memory lane…
But even the worst of storms…can’t forever pour and rain…
I spent a lot of time to numbing and escaping the pain…
But the same old stories and shadows returned again and again…
I had to heal the pain within, I had to let myself feel every drop of tears…
In doing so…I relived the helplessness and hopelessness of all those lost and broken years…
The real change came when I realized…I couldn’t go on hating myself anymore…
When I decided day after day…love was a better reason than pain to ultimately live for…
It’s not easy and I get afraid sometimes…I do…
You just have to keep going…and know your own love will get you through…
Get you through…