I struggled with the girl in the mirror…

Always wanted to run away…

Happiness fluttered like a butterfly…

But I couldn’t get her to stay….

The past is long gone and my mind is caught up in the details…

My tendency towards tears and self destruction…there’s a struggle to curtail…

When left alone…too much time can be a burden…

Sometimes you have to leave behind your nightmares and close the curtain…

Nothing in life is promised forever, nothing is ever certain…

I loved the highs, I loved the lows, I loved the laughter, I loved the tears…

But for a long time I lost myself in the pain of my adolescent years…

Battling wars and fears inside my head…

Could of walked away but I’m here instead…

Family issues and family ties…

I wanted to believe your love was real…but all my hands hold are pretty and precious lies….

Still I’m thankful for the time and experiences my heart carries softly…

The nature I once had…was a tidal wave…

He took away so much…he stole more than I ever willingly gave…

I can be dark…when I begin to feel the hurt…

Back then…I would have given anything to not be the one you desert…

Oh it was complicated…it was a painful way to live…

Some people…only care about what you have to give…

What you have to give…

I wanted to be loved…I wanted to be needed…

And I wish he could have seen the way he hurt me…how coldly he treated…

Sorry I don’t mean to walk down memory lane…

But even the worst of storms…can’t forever pour and rain…

I spent a lot of time to numbing and escaping the pain…

But the same old stories and shadows returned again and again…

I had to heal the pain within, I had to let myself feel every drop of tears…

In doing so…I relived the helplessness and hopelessness of all those lost and broken years…

The real change came when I realized…I couldn’t go on hating myself anymore…

When I decided day after day…love was a better reason than pain to ultimately live for…

It’s not easy and I get afraid sometimes…I do…

You just have to keep going…and know your own love will get you through…

Get you through…

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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