free

perfect… quiet… obedient… these aren’t words to describe me… I’m a person. I’m a person…. But I don’t know what you are… Because you don’t feel when I’m left broken… And you don’t pause when I fall apart…. There’s no love or kindness within your own heart… I don’t know how… I don’t know why……

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year after year

I don’t want to be like you…. Numb to all emotion… Detached and unfeeling… Cold and calculated… Every move is planned… Every step is practiced… I could never… I could never truly understand how… You could choose you over and over again… But then… I choose you over me again and again… That was my…

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for you

leave no one behind…. what happened to me left a permanent mark… for a long time I felt cursed… as if worthlessness was tied forever on my name… I don’t know when it all started to irreversibly change… love isn’t fear and locked chains… love isn’t sold for a price… I tried to win at…

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forever find

heaven and hell in your eyes… too many of them to count, I can’t carry all the lies… all the while just pretending to be perfectly fine…. in your world love and freedom could never be fully mine… you can love someone who only wants to destroy you to feel powerful… in the same way…

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loved

I loved you and hated you all the same… For a long time a twisted part of me thought I loved the games… But healing from trauma is not a linear path… Life is far more complex and beautiful than black and white math… It hurt me more as the scars began to heal… I…

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