I want to let go…
But I need to hold on…
I want to forgive…
But hating you was once the only way I lived…
The trauma…messed me up and had me in this way…
Too long pretending to smile and act like it was all okay…
Was it me or the memories..that sent you on your way…
And I know…
I know it would have been worse for everyone if you had stayed…
If I had only learned how to be quiet and obey…
But I can’t go back to that place in the past…
Why is it a part of me longs to erase you…and wants to make the good times last…
Cycles and cycles…
Abuse knows no borders and doesn’t discriminate…
Fear loves chaos and shades of resentments laid with hate…
Everyone just wants to be loved…but some take it by force…
Have to think of what I am now building for myself and let courage map the course…
Because I don’t want to see his pain mirroring in my own eyes…
And I don’t want them to suffer the consequences of his false promises and lies…
Save yourself by loving yourself more…
Don’t let fear be all that you choose to live for…
Lauren Kim Art 