played and played your games…

when they were addicting baby…

I wanted to win but you kept changing all the rules…

all the twists and turns left me feeling as if I was truly crazy…

your heart was like winning the lottery but I couldn’t figure it all out….

the hook, the line, the fantasy…

it took me a long, long time to figure the real motivations and what you were all about…

you convince your victims they can win if only….they play along….

but all the while you’re behind the scenes….

as I walk further and further from the place I know I belong…

and I kept ….saying to myself…this time….this time….everything will turn back to the way it was…

in the end…you had no reasons….you hurt and you destroy and you break people down because….

there’s no mystery behind what you do…no logic…no method…

you just wanted us all to feel weak, stupid, pathetic….forever indebted….

I tried to find this magical solution….this perfect answer to why you did what you did and if I could have stopped it from happening to me….

but the more I stay in this place of fighting against someone who isn’t there…

the more a real life of meaning slips from any possibility….

don’t try to figure out why someone hurt you….when you may never really know…

do what you can for yourself to find freedom, to break away, and to beautifully grow…

because you can spend lifetimes wondering what choice, word, action, anything would have saved you…

the truth…

you could never control what other people say, how they live, or ultimately what they do…

sometimes people say they love you as they slip the knife into your skin….

but that doesn’t mean you need to pick up where they left off and bare the burden of their own sins…

if we only get one life…don’t waste it on crying tears over him….he’s not worth your hours…

rainbows and butterflies…

after dark, spring storms and cold rain showers…

 

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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