it’s hard for me to trust in my self…
to stop myself from explaining, defending, justifying my state of mind…
because back then…
every little thing I did…
they would twist and turn it around until I believed I was the one who was selfish and unkind…
must have been doctors in psychology to replace my views with your own warped one of the world…
and once they sink their pins and needles in…
you realize too late they have complete power and an unbreakable hold…
when I close my eyes…I’m still fighting away the shadows of the past…
my subconscious can’t believe it’s over and my conscious mind tries to convince me the fear won’t last…
take a deep breath and calm my shaking hands…
one day my scars and memories will fully understand…
it’s an uphill battle to still the waters upon all too familiar shores…
there’s a part of me wanting to change and another always wanting more….
