losing you brought out the worst in me…

battles I thought I won long ago…

vices I thought I defeated once and for all…

I threw words and insults…

hoping they would hurt you…

hoping they would change the choice you made…

and I feel this shame…

this guilt….

for what I did to you…

for the pain I caused you…

as much as I hated my dad…

I found traces of his struggles within me…

but I don’t blame him…

I don’t blame me…

blame never helped me heal…

he taught me a lot of fear…

and so little of love…

I’m sorry….

for how I hurt you…

for the times I put myself before you…

for not being the one to care for you…

I regret that…

I regret a lot of things…

I regret feeling like…

I was the one who pushed you away…

To eventually lose you….

Posted by:Lauren Kim

🦋 I write my own stories, breathing in life & love by my heart's endless daydreams.

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