regrets

I said a lot of things out of anger…

more out of pain…

because when I imagined my life without you…

I was in a place of eternal rain…

fear is a lonely prison…

fear paints a dark kind of vision…

and I hated my dad for what he did to me…

then I….

then I do the same thing to try to keep you…

and it kills me…

because in my heart I know…

I’m the one trying to hold onto you now…keeping you from flying free…

strange how this story has a feeling of pure irony….

I regret the words I said to hurt you…

I regret telling you time after time I was done and through…

I regret using all the tactics used against me as a child against your trusting heart…

I regret sabotaging this love before it even had the chance to start…

no…it’s not entirely my fault but I played a hand in how this ended….

I should have been there for you with love but I was the one who kept your wounds from being mended…

I know every manipulation trick in the book…but never thought I would use them….

I guess this whole time I’ve been really trying to find a way to heal the scars from him…

and I hate how I hurt you…the way he hurt me…

the worst feeling in the world is…

when I stopped you from being free….