I let this fantasy fill the spaces between me and you…
Because in my head it wasn’t dangerous…
It could do no harm…
Never become real…
But there’s more in the details…
I used my parents’ model of marriage for us…
In their life was an ocean of distance in between….
Silent emotions and rejected love…
My attention always on another…
Turning away instead of towards each other…
Shame and guilt line the moments I was weak…
A million words neither of us want to even speak…
I was chasing after an illusion because I was too afraid to find real love in your arms…
But the deeper I went…
The more I ignored the sounding alarms…
I was lost in the golden promise of endless love and affection…
But it all looks so different from a new reflection…
