I kill any chance of happiness before I can ever have it in my hands…
Because a deep and painful fear won’t ever let love take a stand…
And I break apart promises and connections to keep myself safe and sound…
But after cutting off everyone and everything I ever cared for…desolation and suffering was all I ever found…
Love is painful and kills you at times…when you put all your trust in another…
Then you begin to desire control and power to never feel that pain again…instead of freeing you choose to smother…
I tried to escape one hell but built another…focused so long upon what my father did…I kept his rage and hate alive…
But I want more than a life kept as a prisoner in nightmares and truamas…fighting to just survive…
I want love and peace and happiness…
To feel alive…
